David Ortiz' name was leaked. Who's next?
By Tim Peterson
A few years ago, back in 2003, I worked for a large corporation. It was a company that was not only nationwide but was also expanding globally as well. It generated millions of dollars in revenue with millions of people enjoying its products and services.
Everybody was happy as profits reached an all time high. From the CEO, to the managers to the sales force to the janitors, there were smiles all around. It was one big happy family. Everything was sailing along and never a harsh word was uttered.
But suddenly rumors began to spread about employees having drinks at lunch. Nothing serious really- there was no evidence that it was affecting the job performances of employees and no names were mentioned as to who was doing the drinking.
There also was no mention of what was being consumed. Was it beer? Champagne? Gin and tonic? Shirley Temples? Nobody seemed to know but still the buzz generated through out the company.
Could there be a drinking problem in the corporation? Owners of the company mulled things over in their minds. How wide spread was the problem? Would it affect our profits? How can we put a stop to it? The culprits weren’t doing anything illegal necessarily and again there was zero evidence but the last thing ownership wanted was for the money to stop rolling in.
Questioning of employees turned out to be fruitless because nobody revealed names or any specifics of the supposed problem.
Suddenly a light bulb went off in the head of the CEO. He had a plan that he just knew would work. He would conduct a survey test for alcohol of employees after they had finished their work day. He would see how many were on the sauce and how many weren’t.
This way he could tell if there was any need to institute mandatory alcohol testing the following year or if the rumors were all just a bunch of bull. Of course like any big corporation there was a union involved and this was no exception.
How could the CEO get his employees to subject to the tests and how could he get the union to agree? Simple. He would assure anonymity. Those that tested positive would be guaranteed that there names would never be released. Also just to seal the deal, the offenders, the ones who liked to enjoy the occasional Samuel Adams with their pastrami sandwiches, would not be subjected to any disciplinary action. In fact “the list” would be completely confidential and placed under court order.
And of course it was all meant to be for the benefit of the company and if you cared at all about the company you would happily agree to be tested. The CEO shoveled it to the point that the employees were lining up at the facilities with empty cups in hand.
In their minds, they had nothing to lose- anonymous, confidential, no disciplinary action. Heck, this might even be fun.
So over 1000 employees subjected themselves to the exam and over 100 turned up positive. And because five percent of the employees tested positive the corporation instituted a mandatory random testing program, with penalties, the following year.
Ok that’s cool. Now the employees knew what was expected of them. No alcohol on the job period. Not even a bud with your burger. If they did throw one back there would be consequences.
But six years later names on the “confidential” list were being released. One by one and sometimes two at a time names were being spilled out like water from a leaky faucet. Anonymous? Confidential? Court ordered? Well nothing is guaranteed as the CEO grinned.
Fortunately this is all fiction. It never happened to me. But it did happen to certain baseball players- a slightly different scenario but the same premise. It happened to Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz. And it will happen again soon to other members on “the list.”
Who are the real cheaters here?
Tim can be reached at tspeterson32@yahoo.com
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