By Joe Torosian
“Hey, y’all, prepare yourself for the rubberband man
You’ve never heard a sound
Like the rubberband man
You’re bound to lose control
When the rubberband starts to jam.”—The Spinners
Right off the Top: What I miss most about getting older is playing ball. Right now, I d settle for scoring from first to home in slow-pitch church softball…
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed hitting home runs…but few things were ever better than getting on first base, taking off with the pitch, and then scoring on a base hit.
I’ve always remained a Hunter Duran fan…The former Arroyo wide receiver/current assistant coach caught 99 passes and scored 29 touchdowns in his varsity career.
Plus his hair is better than Bustamonte’s.
Safe argument to make that Los Angeles Rams left tackle Greg Robinson might be the most important part of the team’s offense this season.
Last Add Rams: If Nick Foles throws three touchdown passes and leads the Kansas City Chiefs to a win tonight…How many media posts will there be saying the team should have kept him?
Did you know in Anthony White’s first season at Buena Park in 2010, the Coyotes won six games? Did you know in the six seasons before Anthony White arrived Buena Park won only eight games combined? Now that is the definition of Coyote Ugly.
I have a firm belief when we get to Heaven…those of us that are going, I mean. I can’t say with any accuracy the entire Mid Valley Sports staff or all those in our coverage zone will be Spiritually Eligible…I think we’ll have the opportunity to play ball.
I think we’ll play tackle football, helmeted, padded up, and knock the crud out of each other without doing any serious damage. How fun will that be?
We’ll play baseball and Josh Ouellette will learn how to hit a curve…We’ll score from first to home…
Yeah, yeah…there’s always going to be some sanctimonious jackwagon out there saying… “I think God has more important things to do…yada-yada-yada…”
If I can give you a small bit of spiritual edification today—after all tomorrow is Sunday—when you get to Heaven you’re not going to be strumming a harp for eternity with glazed over eyes like Los Angeles Angels fans, believing Mike Scioscia will turn things around next year.
According to First Corinthians 2:9…it is going to be rockin…
Since I’ve been getting back into the swing of things this week, let me re-emphasize some stuff you may have forgotten about me:
—I like my prep playoff brackets based on geography.
—I want to see different private & public playoff brackets.
—I want to see more Saturday morning games.
—I want the state championship playoffs to go away.
—I think a door should be opened/created/whatevered/encouraged…to allow schools to drop their football programs.
—I think schools should make “Head Varsity Football Coach” a full-time teaching position.
—Oh, and since gender has been replaced by gender-identity and/or gender-expression…Is Title IX really necessary?
Funny, but I’ve hated the San Francisco Giants more this weekend than I have my entire life. Even in my years as a Los Angeles Dodgers fan, the Giants were more a subject of laughter than pain.
I did and do like the orange jerseys…and I was a big fan of Chili Davis…but now, after this weekend…I hope they rot… and lie stinking in the earth.
I’ve been working on a column based on “The Theology of You Suck!”…maybe I’ll release it next week. The thesis being that everybody is capable of sucking…everybody…and nobody should get a pass just for their intentions.
Example: “Jay Bruce is just 12-for-69 in his first 17 games as a Met, but at least he’s trying really hard and doing his best!”
No, Jay Bruce sucks!
Midbits (same as ‘Tidbits’)
Midbits: AT&T Park is horribly configured…Too many triples.
Midbits: Clayton Kershaw rejoins the Dodgers but same L.A. Times article says nothing about a definite return.
Midbits: Let me provide some encouragement for Temple City football fans.
In 1966, the Rams went 7-2 (beat San Marino, 26-6) and allowed only 44 points all season…In 1976, the Rams went 12-2 and won a CIF Championship…In 1986, the Rams went 13-1 and reached the CIF Finals…In 1996, the Rams went 10-2 and advanced to the second round of the playoffs…In 2006, the Rams went 10-2 and advanced to the second round of the playoffs…So this period in each of the last five decades has always been good to the program.
That’s good news, right?
P.S. Ignore 1956, the program went 0-8-1 but that was BH…Before Hitchcock.
Midbits: Tough to get hyped about the Smudge Pot game between San Dimas-Bonita in August…This is a rivalry game that screams to be played in October…These schools need to find some league opponents willing to make a switch…Tradition is one of the pillars that raises high school football above all other sports…The traditions have to be honored.
Yeah, I said it…No other high school sport comes close to football…
Midbits: As of 4:PM today…the Los Angeles Rams have 2,158 tickets remaining for sale…Now, I can guarantee you, those are of the “horseshoe” variety…
MLB GAMES JOE T. HAS WATCHED THIS SEASON (Minimum 5-innings)
New York Mets: 94
Los Angeles Dodgers: 14
San Francisco Giants: 12
Los Angeles Angels: 8
Quick Pitch (Watney/Ryan): 72
The Dude abides…
Contact Joe at email@example.com
Author of “Tangent Dreams: A High School Football Novel” available through Amazon.com …and “The Dead Bug Tales” available this fall also through Amazon.
Follow Joe on Twitter @joet13b
“Joe T.’s Scoreboard” is found at www.midvalleynews.com every Wednesday & in the hard copy of the Mid Valley News, published every Wednesday.