By Joe Torosian
“Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?”—Oddball
Right off the Top: Does there really need to be Bring Your Dog To The Ballpark Day?
I can think of some really nice people, who love dogs, that are going to hate me for this but it’s how I feel.
I like dogs, I’m pro dog…but at the ballpark? Why do they need to be at the ballpark? Do the owners have to buy them a ticket? Do they occupy a seat? Do they park them in the small aisles and disrupt the flow of traffic? What about the average, everyday, fan who gets a ticket but doesn’t want to watch nine innings sitting next to Jethro the cocker spaniel?
You can have a shiny new quarterback…you can have a Rolls Royce/Tesla running back…but if you don’t have an offensive line then, Coach Jeff Fisher, you are going to be experiencing some 7-9 balshoi…Right now Los Angeles Rams right tackle Rob Havenstein is out with a bad foot. As a rookie, Havenstein played in 13 games and is a solid run blocker.
Rodger Saffold is currently manning right tackle. Saffold is talented but he’s missed 28 games during his six seasons with the team. He’s only played all 16 games twice in his career.
The guy tears a bicep muscle every time he raises an arm to eat a slice of pizza.
I worry about the Rams.
Note to Derek Bedell & the Mayfair Monsoons: I can appreciate the scheduling of Mater Dei, but try to come out of it injury free…At least for my sake…It would be awful if by Week Two I had to say, “Monsoon season is over.”
You feeling me on this?
In the Get All Excited And Go To A Yawning Festival Department:
I don’t care that Hope Solo called the Swedes cowards after losing to them in Olympic soccer…I admire the poor sportsmanship…and the Swedes did sit out World War 2 when the globe was in flames…so forget them.
Besides…It’s just Communist Kickball anyway…
Speaking of World War 2, did you know El Monte and Montebello have played 13 times since it ended? The Oilers lead the series 8-5, this includes post-season match-ups in 1999 and 2012.
Note to El Monte HC, Eric MacIntyre: No new Lions head coach has lost his first game since Eric Martinez…in 2002.
Montebello HC, Pete Gonzalez is 4-3 in season openers since taking over the Oilers program.
I knew the Dodgers bats wouldn’t keep it going…Only one run last night? Against the Giants? Weak.
There’s been a lot of talk about who Alabama puts on its football schedule. After all the non-league portion looks like the display counter at DOTS in Pasadena.
Not so with St. Francis…The Golden Knights first five opponents this season were a combined 37-23 a year ago. This includes West Covina, La Serna, Dorsey, and Buena Park. Yeah, they have Pasadena on the schedule but the Bulldogs were 5-5 in 2015 and less DOTS and more Portos.
Still tinkering with a column devoted to the Theology of You Suck.
But this came up in a conversation, in terms of an individual I know who was telling me about his intentions.
Friend: “I know I can be a great writer if I put my mind to it. I know I can be great at my job if I put my mind to it.”
Joe T.: “So why aren’t you putting your mind to it?”
Joe T.: “So basically what you’re saying is you want me to honor your intentions…When the truth is, knowing you can be great at something and then not putting your mind to it means…you suck.”
Results, right? Shouldn’t everything be results based?
I’m not against trying and failing…but I’m also capable of understanding when you suck at something it means you suck. And you suck even worse when you have the capability, talent, and resources and fail to put your mind to it.
Who frustrates you more? The Mets Carlos Beltran for taking a called third strike to end the NLCS a decade ago or Benoit Benjamin? Johnny Manziel?
Almost Last Add Rams: I don’t worry about angry St. Louis Rams fans…In fact, looking back I’d like to thank them for taking Georgia Frontiere off our hands 22 years ago.
Midbits (same as ‘Tidbits’)
Midbits: “The San Francisco Giants have signed Burbank Nazarene first baseman Joe Torosian to a contract…Torosian has good power from both sides of the plate and a nice glove…The Giants currently have no power, no fielding, no pitching and, in general, flat out suck…So why not take a flyer on an aging slow-pitch softball player.”
Midbits: “A born male has a range of height, wider shoulders and so on than a born female. So if you were born with those male skeletal characteristics, traits that don’t change with hormonal shifts, and stand within any group of females, you have a likely chance of being bigger than average – an asset in most sports. I’m all for the rights of the transgender athlete. I’m ready to evolve from our binary model. But I admit, when it comes to the female trans athlete, I’m confused.”—Diana Nyad, journalist/long-distance swimmer
Midbits: Arroyo has not beaten Covina in football since 1993…Of course, the meeting between the schools last year (Covina won) was the first since 1993.
Midbits: Hey! Ross Stripling’s a Dodger again!
Midbits: “All the colleges, moms, and dads, and everybody else says we’re not supposed to holler at you guys anymore. People who have been enabling you your whole lives are disabling your future. When you don’t do what you’re supposed to do you get fired in another job. You’ll get fired here.”—Los Angeles Rams defensive coordinator Gregg Williams
MLB GAMES JOE T. HAS WATCHED THIS SEASON (Minimum 5-innings)
New York Mets: 96
Los Angeles Dodgers: 16
San Francisco Giants: 14
Los Angeles Angels: 8
Quick Pitch (Watney/Ryan): 74
The Dude abides…
Contact Joe at firstname.lastname@example.org
Author of “Tangent Dreams: A High School Football Novel” available through amazon.com …and “The Dead Bug Tales” available this fall.
Follow Joe on Twitter @joet13b
“Joe T.’s Scoreboard” is found at www.midvalleynews.com every Wednesday & in the hard copy of the Mid Valley News, published every Wednesday.
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